In The Garden of Grief
"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundations?
While the morning stars sang together, and all the angels shouted for joy?" Job 28
In March 2015 researchers provided evidence that stars generate sound. A group of physics were talking about sound generated by the stars themselves.
Right now, we can not hear them as sound cannot propagate through the vacuum of space
However, I believe that one day we will hear the stars sing.
When it is a beautiful clear night
We can see the stars
Can you imagine they are singing
The music of the night
Music in the night garden
This world can not create that music
Only God can create it.
In our lives there comes the night
The night of grief
In the garden of grief there is the music in that garden
The music in the night garden
The music of the night
"Eye has not seen, nor ear heard the things which God has prepared for those who love him."
Corinthians 2:9
"There is a slight deformity."
Tears were streaming down his face
I looked up at him in confusion and dread
His tears belied the 'slight' deformity
I had just given birth to my baby boy
I should have been filled with joy
I had sensed there was something wrong
Now I realized I was right
"The baby is not moving very much,"
"You must trust God." I was firmly told
Now the Dr. standing by my bed proceeded
He described what had gone wrong with my baby.
"He will live a maximum of three months
He will not see,
He will be blind
He will not talk
He will never walk
I would never bring him home."
I now walked in to the night garden of grief
In the faith-based church I attended I heard
"God's blessing and God's will."
In my heart I saw it as neither.
I buried my grief
As grief seemed to be a sin
People looked away
I prayed that God would sicken me
My secret prayer
"Take me!" I prayed
"Heal my son!"
I grew sick and pummeled into darkness
In the garden of grief
But I did not die
God is always kind
My baby lingered for a little while
However, he was never mine to keep
He was allowed to stay for eighteen months
From the moment I held that baby in my arms
To the moment he died
I sensed such holiness that just being in his presence
Filled me with awe
His face was perfect and blond curls covered his head
I knew he did not belong to this world ever
He belonged to God always
He had just come for a brief visit
Then God took my beautiful baby home.
We named him Craig Steven
I was nineteen years old and the pastor said
"She is so young to have someone waiting for her in heaven."
Was this a badge of honor?
If so, I did not want it.
Even now, as I write this I weep
I still remember that frail little white face
His body cradled in my arms for such a short time
He seldom cried
Some things never go away
They remain in our heart forever
The memory still causes tears and loss
This is grief
Coming in waves and fading over the years
But still coming
It is the garden of grief
On the day we buried him we gathered in the little chapel
The pastor said a prayer as a small group gathered
His little white coffin sat before us
And suddenly in the quietness of the chapel
I broke
My body shook with the sobs and the crying that was waiting to be released
I wailed and rocked in almost unbearable pain
I felt the shock of the small group around me
On that cold and rainy day, I walked away from the small white casket sitting in the rain
I looked back and wondered
"Will I ever see my baby again?"
Many years ago another man cried out his grief
"While the child was still alive I fasted and wept, for I said
"Who knows whether the Lord will be gracious to me that the child may live?"
But now he is dead. Why should I fast?"
Can I bring him back again?
I shall go to him, but he will not return to me." 2 Samuel 22-23
I have more questions then answers
I am just the story teller
In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job
The man was blameless and upright
"He feared God and shunned evil."
He had many children and he was wealthy
"He was the greatest man among all the people of the East"
God allowed Job to be tested by Satan
"God said to Satan, "Very well, then, everything he has is in your hands."
And the story begins in the book of Job
Difficult to read of the stripping and testing of job.
"Why? Why? Why?"
Then God answers Job in the most poetic verses I have read
"Were you there when I laid the earth's foundations?"
"While all the morning stars sang together?"
And all the angels shouted for joy?" Job 37: 4,7
Jesus went through the garden of grief to bring us to the garden of joy
"My soul is sorrowful, even to death; "
"Were you there when they crucified my Lord?
Were you there when they crucified my Lord?
Oh! Sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble
Were you there when they crucified my Lord?
Were you there when he rose up from the dead?
Were you there when he rose up from the dead?
Sometimes I feel like shouting
Glory! Glory! Glory!
Were you there when he rose up from the dead?
First published by William Eleazar Barton
Likely composed by African Americans in the 19th century
"I know that my Redeemer lives, and that at the end he will stand on the earth."