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In The Night Garden


In The Garden of Grief



"Where were you when I laid the earth's foundations?

While the morning stars sang together, and all the angels shouted for joy?" Job 28


 

In March 2015 researchers provided evidence that stars generate sound. A group of physics were talking about sound generated by the stars themselves.

Right now, we can not hear them as sound cannot propagate through the vacuum of space

However, I believe that one day we will hear the stars sing.

When it is a beautiful clear night

We can see the stars

Can you imagine they are singing

The music of the night

Music in the night garden

This world can not create that music

Only God can create it.

In our lives there comes the night

The night of grief

In the garden of grief there is the music in that garden

The music in the night garden

The music of the night


 

"Eye has not seen, nor ear heard the things which God has prepared for those who love him."

Corinthians 2:9



 

"There is a slight deformity."

Tears were streaming down his face

I looked up at him in confusion and dread

His tears belied the 'slight' deformity

I had just given birth to my baby boy

I should have been filled with joy

I had sensed there was something wrong

Now I realized I was right


"The baby is not moving very much,"

"You must trust God." I was firmly told


Now the Dr. standing by my bed proceeded

He described what had gone wrong with my baby.

"He will live a maximum of three months

He will not see,

He will be blind

He will not talk

He will never walk

I would never bring him home."


I now walked in to the night garden of grief

In the faith-based church I attended I heard

"God's blessing and God's will."

In my heart I saw it as neither.

I buried my grief

As grief seemed to be a sin

People looked away


I prayed that God would sicken me

My secret prayer

"Take me!" I prayed

"Heal my son!"


I grew sick and pummeled into darkness

In the garden of grief

But I did not die


God is always kind

My baby lingered for a little while

However, he was never mine to keep

He was allowed to stay for eighteen months


From the moment I held that baby in my arms

To the moment he died

I sensed such holiness that just being in his presence

Filled me with awe

His face was perfect and blond curls covered his head

I knew he did not belong to this world ever

He belonged to God always

He had just come for a brief visit

Then God took my beautiful baby home.


We named him Craig Steven

I was nineteen years old and the pastor said

"She is so young to have someone waiting for her in heaven."

Was this a badge of honor?

If so, I did not want it.

Even now, as I write this I weep

I still remember that frail little white face

His body cradled in my arms for such a short time

He seldom cried


Some things never go away

They remain in our heart forever

The memory still causes tears and loss

This is grief

Coming in waves and fading over the years

But still coming

It is the garden of grief


On the day we buried him we gathered in the little chapel

The pastor said a prayer as a small group gathered


His little white coffin sat before us

And suddenly in the quietness of the chapel

I broke

My body shook with the sobs and the crying that was waiting to be released

I wailed and rocked in almost unbearable pain

I felt the shock of the small group around me


On that cold and rainy day, I walked away from the small white casket sitting in the rain

I looked back and wondered

"Will I ever see my baby again?"


Many years ago another man cried out his grief

"While the child was still alive I fasted and wept, for I said

"Who knows whether the Lord will be gracious to me that the child may live?"

But now he is dead. Why should I fast?"

Can I bring him back again?

I shall go to him, but he will not return to me." 2 Samuel 22-23


 

I have more questions then answers

I am just the story teller


 

In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job

The man was blameless and upright

"He feared God and shunned evil."

He had many children and he was wealthy

"He was the greatest man among all the people of the East"

God allowed Job to be tested by Satan

"God said to Satan, "Very well, then, everything he has is in your hands."

And the story begins in the book of Job

Difficult to read of the stripping and testing of job.

"Why? Why? Why?"


Then God answers Job in the most poetic verses I have read

"Were you there when I laid the earth's foundations?"

"While all the morning stars sang together?"

And all the angels shouted for joy?" Job 37: 4,7



 

Jesus went through the garden of grief to bring us to the garden of joy

"My soul is sorrowful, even to death; "



 

"Were you there when they crucified my Lord?

Were you there when they crucified my Lord?

Oh! Sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble

Were you there when they crucified my Lord?


Were you there when he rose up from the dead?

Were you there when he rose up from the dead?

Sometimes I feel like shouting

Glory! Glory! Glory!

Were you there when he rose up from the dead?


First published by William Eleazar Barton

Likely composed by African Americans in the 19th century



"I know that my Redeemer lives, and that at the end he will stand on the earth."








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